For better or for worse
by Cozypie
Summary: He would never fail her again. She was everything he had left and from now on he would do anything to make sure she was safe. The funny thing with love is: Even if you aren't able to say it, you sure as hell can show it.


_Hey there cozypie is back :) School is making my life a living hell right now, but I couldn't get this thing out of my mind. As always I don't own anything and this is my first attempt at the hunger games. I hope you like it, the next chap is already in work.  
><em>_and english isn't my first language so I apologize upfront :)  
><em>_tell me what you think xxx_

**For better or for worse**

He was scared. For the first time since his games, he was in utter terror. She was still shaken, more stable now. But like any of them she had better times and worse. Sometimes Effi would scream at the first glance of him, other times she threw herself in his arms. He wasn't sure which he preferred. And now he might start something he wasn't sure how to end.

"Hello Sweetheart" she looked bored, he knew this face, it wasn't his Effi. This was Capitol Darling Effi, even without her wigs, dresses, make up. It was her Doll Face, the one he wasn't able to read, even after all their time together. "Haymitch, what coincidence to I own this pleasure?" he played with the paper in his hands. "We have to talk" she put her book aside, watching him with narrowed eyes.

"Make yourself at home" she patted the spot next to her and he took it. He didn't know how to start this conversation. Everything seemed to burst under their hands. Plutarch himself wasn't sure how to handle the situation. Coin was out for blood. Effi was the last surviving Escort, the last who had her hands in the games. She screamed for revenge, wanted to kill her. He wasn't sure how to protect her any longer, Plutarchs Idea seemed like suicide, but it was all he had left. Peeta was still missing, used against them, Katniss was broken beyond repair.

Chaff was dead, Finnick on the edge of going nuts. Joanna, he wasn't even able to imagine what she was going through. She was all he had left, he wouldn't let her down this time. Even if it means she would try to kill him within the next hours. "Coin isn't very fond of you sweetheart" "I'm well aware of that. But neither are any of the others in Thirteen" her voice was so cold, after an incident with former people from twelve she wasn't even leaving her room. "It's their right to hate me. Haymitch, I killed their children.

I reaped them, called their names, dressed them up and send them to death. I'm a monster and I'm well aware of that" "Stop that shit right there" "Language Haymitch" he couldn't hold back his grin, this sounded so much like her. "You have to sign these" he handed over the papers he was clinging too for dear life. "Would you be a darling and tell me what this is?" he shook his head. Haymitch was at a loss of words.

Slowly she began her reading, with every paper her eyes grew wider. "For the love of everything holy in this world, what do you think you are doing?" anger, anger was good, he knew how to handle that. "Trying to safe you life" not even a second later she was standing in front of him, obviously in an attempt to kill him with those papers. The first hit to his head, then his shoulders. Everything she might reach. After a few minutes she was done, her screams turned into sobs. Effi sunk to the floor, rocking back and forth.

Flashbacks, he knew them by heart. He was sliding next to her "I'm here Sweetheart, please. Come back. I'm here" "You never.. You never loved me. They told me. Everything was a lie, every night you spend with me" her voice cracked, he wasn't sure he could stand this any longer. All the lies they told her, after every beating, every electroshock, after they did things he couldn't put in words. "It's not true, Effi please. I tried so hard. I thought you were safe. Every day I looked for you. Come back to me, let me help you. I have to keep you safe" he knew he should go and get a doctor, maybe Prim. Effi seemed to like her and Prim was one of the few people who weren't holding a grudge against her.

But he couldn't he was as selfish as he could get. After a few minutes she was starting to see clear again. Still rocking back and forth, but looking at him. "Haymitch, are you serious ? Is this your way to pity me? I frankly don't need it. I know you never felt the same, but this feels like mockery. I don't appreciate being mocked and it's highly rude. Please leave my room now, you might send in Primrose or Katniss, maybe both" she thought he was mocking her, his last card, his last trumph and she thought he wasn't being serious.

"I am a bad man, sweetheart. I get it, i was a lousy lover, a terrible friend. But this is all I can offer you. I may not be able to safe you. But my name could do the trick. I know you might never forgive me, but bloody sake, I don't want us to play happy family. I want you to stay safe. They can threaten Effi Trinket former escort, but not even Coin would put a finger on Effi Abernathy, wife of former victor and leader of the rebels. I know it's not what you dreamed about" he couldn't suppress a snare. She was silent. It was an open secret that she felt more for him, he knew it, snow knew it and all of their friends. The only one who were easy to fool were the children. They had a kinda affair the last few years, shouting, fighting.

Most of the nights started with her pressed against a wall and ended in one of their beds. They didn't talk about feelings, they were what they were, it was always dangerous. She wasn't stupid. But oh how well she acted that part. "She really wants me dead?" "Indeed" he lifted her tiny frame and placed her between his legs. His hands were shaking, he hated his withdrawel symptoms. "I failed you on so many levels, but this will never happen again. For better and for worse" she nodded. In the end she signed the papers. More steady than he thought she would. He took her hand and slipped a golden band on her fingers. "It's not much, I know it's not your style but it was my grandmothers" her eyes filled with tears.

"It's beautiful. Haymitch? The date is wrong" he knew this was coming. "It's not, I may or may not have told her we had a cozy little wedding last year. Just us, the kids and our friends. No Capitol, no cameras, care to forgive me already?" "Happy first wedding day Love" she kissed him. She didn't know why, or how. She only knew she loved him, she even trusted him. Now they had to get back their family.

**For better or for worse.**


End file.
